Wild Things

Saturday, Toney and I received training on how to be Triangle Speakers. While we were at the seminar, Kristin got to go to Wild Things, which is a ranch just outside of town where a bunch of Hollywood stars (animals) get to retire.



She got to meet the lions and monkeys that Disney used to make The Lion King (the animals that the animators used as models). There were also hyenas there, but if they were related to the hyenas in the movie, they were probably second generation.



Debating feeding the elephant.



Being cautious with the carrots.



That wasn't so bad!

Victims of the recession

I'm officially unemployed today. My job is a victim of the recession and I just put my last paycheck into the bank.

It worries me, our way of life will drastically have to change. 1 in 5 people in Salinas are out of work, that's 20% of the town, almost twice the national average. Nobody is hiring.

I was contract/self-employed and since no one is hiring, I feel my best option is to start my own business. But I can't describe how monumental that feels, my career has stalled, and I feel too old to start over.

What I worry about most, of course, is Kristin.



I can weather this storm, we can get through this. But the future is very uncertain right now.

The tooth fairy must work for the Treasury Dept.

Kristin lost another tooth last night, and while she was asleep we were looking around for some change for the tooth fairy, but we couldn't find any. It seems we use our debit card for most everything now and just found ourselves without any cash except a 10 dollar bill. This happened to us last time and we gave her a 5 dollar bill then. So now this morning Kristin is running around the house dancing and singing about how the tooth fairy gives out money in multiples of 5 and her next tooth should land her 15 bucks. I don't think even AIG executives were that lucky.

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I think I'm going to give up on youtube. I like watching old music videos but the site has become worthless in its search results. A lot of music, they didn't make into videos and I'm okay with listening to the music while some still photograph or similar is shown. However, I'm getting too many results now of people doing karaoke versions of songs from their basement or live cellphone captures of a concert which just doesn't have the sound quality. I just can't find what I'm looking for on youtube anymore. The original video of older songs. Imeem seems to be a good free alternative. It's videoless, but at least it focuses on the original version of a song and not some tone deaf person doing a cover from their home webcam.

The Silver Lining of Discrimination

Well, it does look like my job is being phased out this month, so I will be hitting the unemployment line soon, a victim of the recession.

I'm actually okay with it emotionally, I look forward to starting a new chapter in my life, although we are a little worried about the loss of income.

For awhile I thought perhaps I could run for the school board or something, although now that I see I am going to be unemployed, I think I need to focus on getting a job first and foremost. I don't even know if a school board pays.

Toney has interest though in being on a school board, or entering politics. It's amazing how much our life has changed since Prop 8 passed. We've gotten involved in activism and politics.

Salinas Valley Equality, the group we joined when Prop 8 passed, had a handful of activists before Prop 8. When the Proposition passed, we wanted to do something so we funded a website for the group and it is largely due to that website and email capabilities that it has now grown to over 260 members. It certainly helped bring people together at least as much as anger over the Proposition did.

The group has branched out now to many different aspects, like marriage, protections for youth in schools, getting a diversity center funded in town, there's quite a bit going on.

In addition to that, Toney joined the Monterey PFLAG board, and we attend Democratic meetings. At the last Democratic meeting, there was a person from a labor union speaking out against the Super WalMart that was coming to town. Toney talked with this guy and told him that he was a former manager who witnessed a lot of anti-gay activity. The union leader had Toney speak before City Hall when they were debating the Super WalMart. Eventually they passed a resolution to forbid big box stores from selling more than 5% of their inventory as food. This effectively prevents the Super Walmart. I don't know if Toney's speech influenced City Hall, but all this activity we've been doing, from the Democratic party, union leaders, gay activists with the equality group, et. al., has done wonders in terms of networking. We've really got a lot of people to support us now.

So anyway, I told Toney to go ahead and join a school board, or focus on getting into politics. Maybe 5 or 10 years down the road be Mayor. He really wants to go into politics. The union leader said for Toney to call if he ever needs anything, so they would throw their support behind Toney getting elected to something, as well as the Democratic party. I'd like to get a job with the Democratic party, some paid position preferably, since I'm going to be unemployed soon. I think that would be an exciting career change.

We are definitely driven. A few weeks ago, there was a marriage rally at the Capitol in Sacramento. The day before the rally, about 10 members of our equality group met at a local coffee shop to create protest signs. Toney and I took Kristin and she colored the rainbows on the signs. Since Prop 8, we've made her aware of what is going on, so between that and the news interview, she knows now that there are people out there who disagree with her family.

We talked a bit Friday night at dinner (Toney and I) about the arguments before the Supreme Court Thursday. She, of course, was sitting there listening.

At bedtime, as Toney was tucking her in, she asked "What did the judges decide yesterday?". I told Toney to tell her that whatever the judges decide, it doesn't change our family in any way. So when he went back to mention that to her, she looked up at him and said, "You know, when I was a baby, all I could say was goo goo and gaa gaa but I had a brain too. And when I was in the stomach, I wanted two moms. But I got two dads instead and it is the best in the whole world."

I hate having had to make her aware of politics at such a young age. And I can see that some of it might worry her, but we just assure her that our family will never change in any way and we intend to raise her to be proud of her family. She is definitely happy. I wish I had a video of the news interview, she talked about how much she loved us, and how I make the best pizza in the world.

So this year we plan on continuing to help our equality group, the Democratic party, PFLAG, getting more involved in local politics, I'll get a new career (knock on wood) and it's exciting to see how things will change for us. It's quite a change from before Prop 8, when we spent our evenings watching tv.

Interviewed by the News Tonight

We were interviewed by KION 46 (CBS) today.


I was told the video would be on the website, but so far it's just a brief snippet on a webpage.

If I come across the video, I'll post it. They came to the house and interviewed Kristin about what it was like to have two dads and asked us what Prop 8 means to us as a family.

Seeing things only Time can show me

The first years of Kristin's life, I had no idea what to expect in terms of peers. I can see now I was overly paranoid, thinking that every time someone couldn't do a playdate or when she wasn't invited to a party, that it was personal, an indictment of our family.

Kristin has friends who have intolerant parents, it's after school hours (playdates) that seem to be a no-no, but by now, (1st grade), she has other friends whose parents have no problem and so I don't care. She's not alone and that was my biggest fear. The last three years of school (two years of preschool and one year of kindergarten) have shown me that kids come and go, parents are busy and dismissive of other parents besides me (showing me that my fears of it being personal are unfounded). There's lots of parents of young kids out there who don't associate with other families. Oh, that sounds bad, but it's not because I realize it's a universal thing, families are just busy, mostly. Having never been through parenting before, I didn't know what to expect. I expected the worst.

I had nothing to fear, but of course I didn't know that at the time, now I can look back on it and see. We are all families in the same boat.