It's been about 3 months since I've blogged but I feel like it's been about a year since I've really had anything worthwhile I've wanted to write about. I've looked at the blogs on my blogroll and most of them haven't blogged in months either. Some have even signed off of blogging permanently.
I don't want to give blogging up, but I still feel stalled. When Kristin was a baby, blogging gave me a sense of community with other alternative families and an outlet to share joys and questions. She's older now and starting to keep a journal of her own. The need I got fulfilled from blogging is no longer there. I suspect the same for the other bloggers on my blogroll who don't blog much anymore. Our kids are older now, our needs have changed and our lives have gone on.
We're doing just fine. We started Lavender Families, a google group for LGBT families in the Monterey Bay area and we have about 14 families now, with kids of all age groups. We're spread out, with families in Carmel, Santa Cruz, Pacific Grove and Salinas, so we have infrequent gatherings, but it's a start. The fears and uncertainties that led me to reach out via blogging have subsided dramatically, while never completely going away. I suspect that is part of parenting though and will always exist to some degree.
I wonder if Facebook and Myspace will bring about the end of blogging. I want to take my blogging in a new direction, and get that old fired up feeling again, but I don't want to spend too much time on something if it's going to become obsolete. I tried Facebook, I just can't get into it. As it is now, I'm spending too much time on Twitter, something that really is counterproductive to writing.
I'm still unemployed. My career has stalled. It isn't just my blogging where I feel a loss of a sense of direction. I've been avoiding focusing on my career problems, by throwing myself into running the household/family. You know sometimes when you don't know what to do, you avoid the problem. I do Web Project Management and Database Asset Management. I'm 44. The career field is dried up for someone my age. Apparently I need to start over.
Life goes on. I will find something. I enjoy writing fiction, I enjoy cooking (no formal training) and I am at the point in my life, where I feel I really just need to supplement our income and still keep my focus on running the family/house. I no longer want a career that will require large amounts of time away from home. I'm happy with househusband as the primary role for me. Writing fiction, politics, gardening, cooking and more... of the things I enjoy, I imagine my blogging will start to go in one of those directions, just which one yet, I'm still not sure.
